


Something Lost

by Rekall



Category: Captain Marvel (Marvel)
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 16:25:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2818649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rekall/pseuds/Rekall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a nagging feeling inside Carol's head that she's forgetting something important. Unfortunately those memories are lost to her. She has a feeling however it has something to do with Jessica.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Lost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nocturnal08](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nocturnal08/gifts).



Overall Carol had gotten over the fact that her memory had been erased. She had read the report; knew why she had done it and she knew if she had too she would do it all over again. 

She read everything of her life. She knew the events that happened, her friends, her family, even if she didn't remember them. And although she had no memories the things she had read they had felt familiar. But there was still a nagging feeling. Something in the back of her mind told Carol that she was still missing something; something important. No matter how many times she read over her file however Carol still couldn't figure out what the thing was that was bugging her.

At first it was only a slight annoyance but lately it was growing. Whenever Carol found herself with downtime she found herself at a computer going over her files one more time. She knew there had to be something there. She just needed to find it. The frustrating part was it was beginning to consume her. Long hours were spent trying to figure out what was wrong.

Carol was doing just that when Jessica found her. Until then Carol had thought she was alone. The Avengers Tower had been quiet. Most of the Avengers were at home but someone was always needed to keep an eye on the place. Carol had been volunteering a lot lately. Although she could access her files from home Tony had the best computers in the world. Carol was also hoping that there was something about her on his computer that wasn't in her normal files. So far however she had found nothing.

"Going over a list of your greatest hits?" Jessica asked while Carol exited the file. Her voice full of kidding. "You were never this vain before."

There was a smirk on Jess' face. When Carol first woke up without her memories and started putting her life back together she had wondered just how Jessica had been her best friend. It was easier to understand now that months had gone by. Jessica was fun.

"At least I have a list of greatest hits," Carol teased. She didn't tell Jessica the real reason. She wanted no one know. They would think she was crazy and tell her that nothing was wrong.

"Then you might as well help me getting started with mine." Jessica threw her a grin. "Want to go beat up some A.I.M. thugs for a while?"

That definitely sounded more fun than what Carol was currently doing. Maybe hitting some things would help clear her head. At least Carol hoped it would help. She was tired of the nagging feeling bugging her.

They took to the skies. Flying was the easiest way for them to get around. Plus Carol always felt better when she was able to fly. As she followed Jessica however Carol found the nagging feeling was beginning to return and grow. It was like Jessica was connected to the empty feeling. 

It didn't take long to fly to the A.I.M. building. "You first," Jessica said, indicating towards the skylight in the roof. 

Carol was happy to oblige. She hit the window hard, shattering it to pieces. Alarms immediately went off. Not that Carol cared. Sure they could have sneaked in but she was in the mood to hit something. 

The A.I.M. thugs quickly realized that their guns were doing nothing. Not that they didn't continue to try. Their blasts got no where near Carol.

"Take them out!" Jessica called. "Some of us have issues with getting shot at!"

Carol smiled as she flew at her targets. A punch sent one thug flying. He ended up knocking into two others. Satisfied, Carol moved onto her next target.

Across the room, Carol could see that Jessica was taking care of her own group of A.I.M. soldiers. Again that nagging feeling came to her. She wished she knew what it meant. 

An A.I.M. thug threw a punch at her while she was distracted. Carol barely felt it. It still annoyed her though as she turned and blasted him away where he struck a nearby wall.

The rest of the A.I.M. soldiers began to rapidly fall. The alarm continued to screech in the background but no new troops entered the room. 

"Think they had enough?" Carol asked. It would be disappointing if they had. She hadn't even broken a sweat.

Jessica grinned. "I think we can find more trouble to get into."

They cleared out the rest of the building without any trouble. Equipment was smashed as they went. The last thing they wanted was for A.I.M. to come back later and be able to salvage some of their work. It was better to just destroy everything. 

"That was fun," Jess said when everything was over with. Jessica dusted her hands together as she made her way over to Carol. There was a pile of unconscious A.I.M. guards between them. "Just like the old days."

Carol couldn't help but notice that there was a hint of sadness in Jessica's voice. She knew that Jessica had struggled a lot with the whole memory wipe thing. Carol didn't blame her. She imagine it wasn't easy dealing with a best friend who couldn't remember who you were. But Carol had thought that things were okay between them again. Jessica normally seemed fine. Apparently not though. 

Carol pushed her concern about Jessica out of her mind. The A.I.M. building was clear but there was still work to be done. S.H.I.E.L.D. needed to be called to arrest the A.I.M. soldiers that she and Jessica had taken care of. It was better for S.H.I.E.L.D to deal with that type of stuff.

S.H.I.E.L.D. thankfully didn't take long in getting there. Once they took over Carol and Jessica were able to go. Together they headed back to the Avengers Tower with things were still quiet between them. Carol almost wished that something would happen to break the tension.

"Thanks for your help," Jessica said after they landed. As she spoke Jess stretched. Carol couldn't help but take notice of the way Jessica's body moved. "I think I'm going to go home now and get drunk on a bottle of tequila." 

"No hot date tonight?" Carol joked as a jolt of jealousy went through her. That was unexpected.

An upset look crossed Jessica's face. It was only brief, disappearing again after a few minutes. Carol wondered what it was all about.

"Why go on a date when I can just get drunk?" Jessica playfully asked with a grin on her face. But there was something about the look that told Carol that the expression was fake. "Both suck in the morning but at least with just getting drunk I don't have to kick anyone out of my bed in the morning."

Again there was a note of sadness in Jessica's voice. It was something that Carol couldn't figure out. "Do you miss Clint that much?" According to Jess' files, Clint was the last person she was involved with. 

Instead however Jessica grew quiet. Her voice was soft when she finally spoke. "Not Clint."

Jessica turned to leave as the nagging feeling returned to Carol's mind. If she could only sort it out she had feeling that everything would be better. The only clue she had though was it possibly had something to do with Jessica. Jess likely knew the problem if Carol would only ask but there was something bothering her as well.

"Wait!" Carol said, calling out to Jessica who stopped and turned back towards Carol. There was a curious look on her face but she didn't say anything allowing Carol to continue. "It's you isn't it?"

Jessica gave her a confused look. "I can safely say I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I've had this nagging feeling," Carol explained. "Like there is something I should be remembering but can't since those memories are gone."

"Yeah, well, that was the choice you made." There was bitterness in Jessica's voice. She made no attempt to hide it. 

"It has something to do with you," Carol insisted. "I know it does."

"And this is where I go home."

Carol's body moved on instinct. Her hand grabbed Jessica's wrist and there was a tug as Carol pulled Jess close. Her lips were pressed against Jessica's before Carol even knew what happening but it felt good. It felt right. 

As Jessica pulled away Carol couldn't help but miss the touch.

"We should do this," Jess said as she hung her head and turned away. "Not again."

"Why not?" Carol didn't understand. She had finally realized what was missing from her life. Everything could go back to normal.

As Jessica lifted her head, Carol saw the tears that were forming in her eyes. "Because you already left me once."

Guilt washed over Carol. There was no denying it. She had sacrificed her memories which had included any acknowledgement that she had loved Jessica more than as a friend. It was no wonder Jess had taken things hard. Carol wondered how many knew that they had been together. If it was no one, Jessica would have been alone.

"But I need you."

A bitter laugh escaped Jessica. "You're Captain Marvel. You don't need anyone. You always do the right thing even if it means sacrificing yourself and hurting the people who love you."

"That's why I need you," Carol protested. "You're the only one who tells me when I'm being stupid. No one else will do that."

"No one else could do it," Jessica said as she began walking away. "I'm sorry, but I can't do it again. I will always be your friend though. Don't worry about that."

This time Carol didn't stop her. She buried her face into her hands. She couldn't believe that she had such a good thing and had to throw it away. The worst part was she couldn't even remember what she had. She couldn't think back to the good times or know what it was like being with Jessica. All she could do was imagine about what things could have been like.

"Fuck it," Carol suddenly heard Jessica say. 

Before Carol knew what was happening, she was being grabbed by Jessica. Their lips were pressed together for a heated kiss. It was even better than the first kiss and Carol wanted for it to go on forever. 

Unfortunately Jessica broke away once again but unlike before she continued to hold Carol close. "I will knock you out if you try and do anything so stupid again."

Carol smiled. "I'd like to see you try." She really couldn't help herself.

Jessica however didn't share her amusement. "I mean it. Us need to be a priority this time."

Carol got the message. This was her second change. There would be no third. "I get it."

"Good."

They kissed again. Carol felt Jessica's hands trail down her side. Her costume was suddenly becoming very warm. It was so tempting to leave with Jessica. Go somewhere quiet where they could re-explore their bodies but the Avengers Tower still needed to be watched. It was one thing to leave to deal with A.I.M. It would not look good though to run off for some alone time with Jessica. Even retreating to one of the rooms they had at the tower seemed like a bad idea. 

"Think Tony will mind if we do it right here?" Carol asked her. It was a joke. Joking seemed like the easiest way to calm down. 

"He didn't find out about last time." 

Carol gave Jessica a look as her mind tried to compute that bit of information. "Really? I'm surprised he doesn't have cameras installed everywhere."

Jessica grinned. "I think it's time you re-learned the secrets of this place."

A smile of her own crossed Carol's face. She liked the sound of that.


End file.
